ABYSS
a tale of the horrors of addiction as told through the words of the fallen.

CHAPTER ONE: THE NUMBNESS
(outside)
I remember it was a cold brisk Sunday afternoon...
The chills were striking me again..
The shakes in my hands.
The twitches in my eyes.

I couldn't tell whether I was moving forwards or backwards.
Time seemed to be standing still.
My thoughts echoed around in my head like a droning drum,
annoying me & everyone around me...
..Surely it's projecting out...
The drugs were running short...

I looked out my window and I saw my dealer on the corner.
I quickly ran down the stairs and met him - money in hand.
He joyfully handed me a little baggy of relief.
My medicine indeed was here.
Upon injection, I knew immediately life would be fine.

...And it's all these things...
...and we lose our dreams...
...and life it screams never again....

The thoughts were running rampant in my head about escape.
I knew...I knew that it was the best I could do,
I would catch a bus on the edge of town
and run as fast I could out...

CHAPTER TWO: THE DESCENT
(inside)
I CAN'T - GET THIS – GODDAMN – SKIN OFF OF ME!!!
MY SKIN IS CRAWLING!
IT'S BECKONING FOR ME TO SHED IT!!!
I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE.
I NEED TO RUN.
BUT JUST – JUST ONE MORE HIT.
I NEED MY FIX.
I NEED MY MIX AGAIN.

Upon the ground, I knew my feet could not stand.
I was weighted down with a thousand anchors
tugging from all directions...
My heart did bleed.
There's no hope for me.
There's no hope for this.

My friends, well maybe they were right.
Maybe I should just dope out of this life...
Ohhh...There's blood everywhere again..
Fuck it, I think I hit a fucking muscle,
that's gonna bruise a bit.
{LAUGH}
...fuck me in the goat ass...

CHAPTER THREE: THE REALIZATION
(the next day)

I couldn't believe I was still here...
I saw rays of light..
through glued shut eyelids...
I quickly dusted them away...
I took a breath deeper then ever before...
It was a gasp of life returning to dead lungs..
I was pale and weak..
The carpet was stained with my blood...
And there was still a tray full of pills
and half a bottle if I wanted them there staring at me.
I grabbed a stolen ashtray I had sitting there on the counter.
And quickly lit the last butt I had.
My hands shaking,
I came to grips – with this fate.

I'M STILL HERE.
I'M STILL FUCKING HERE & I CAN TRY.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU CAN FUCKING SUCK IT,
BECAUSE I'M STILL HERE.

Maybe I'll stick around a little more...
and fuck a little more shit up..
Maybe I'll clean my life up...
Maybe I'll find myself a nice wife and settle down.
...Maybe get myself a two car garage...

...INTO THE ABYSS.